Understanding trauma

 "Trauma is not what happens to you. Trauma is what happens inside you as a result of what happened to you   

Trauma is a Greek word for wound. Literally that's what it means. So when you understand that, then you realize...trauma is not what happens to you. Trauma is what happens inside you as a result of what happened to you. 

"Trauma is not the event that inflicted the wound. So, the trauma is not the sexual abuse, the trauma is not the war. Trauma is not the abandonment. The trauma is not the inability of your parents to see you for who you were. Trauma is the wound that you sustained as a result.”

Dr. Gabor Maté

So for example, in my case, my wound wasn't that my parents were incredibly neglectful and emotionally abusive when I was a child. My wound was that I made that mean that I wasn't lovable and that something must have been inherently wrong with me for my parents not to love me. And this is a good thing. Because if the trauma was what happened to you, It' would never unhappen. But if the trauma wound happens inside you, the wound that you're carrying, that can heal at any time.

A lot of times, is not what happened that caused the trauma, but what didn't happened that you needed to happen. Not having a present, connected, attuned caregiver that help you process your experience and offered you consistent unconditional love, can be as traumatic as abuse, neglect can be as damaging as abuse. 

Trauma lives in the body, that's why just talk therapy is not effective to heal from it. We can talk about and understand what happens, but our nervous system is still stuck in the traumatic past.  

Somatic coaching emphasizes the importance of mindfully staying connected to the body in the midst of big emotions or sensations. When you develop awareness of body sensations you are better able to regulate (respond effectively) to emotional intensity. Ultimately this helps you stay connected and supported amidst the intensity of healing trauma.